“Ma, imma miss you.” I stretched my arm out behind her neck.
We were in Bow’s moms living room just chilling and talking about everything. It was my mom, Ty’s Mom, Bow’s Mom, Ty, Bow, Anise, Janise and Me. No sign of Monet or Sophia. I wouldn’t even be surprise if she didn’t come at all, and I wouldn’t even give a fuck.
“Imma miss you too baby.” She kissed me on the cheek and everyone in the room ‘aww’d’.
When the doorbell rang the crew turned their heads and looked at me wide eye’d. They make shit look so obvious. They just stared at me making me feel uncomfortable.
“Is someone gonna answer the door?” Ty’s mom asked.
“I’ll get it.” Anise hopped up and jogged her way to the door.
“Chris, why are they looking at you like that?” Mama whispered in my ear. I shrugged, trying to dismiss the subject. I really didn’t feel like talking about it.
As soon as I heard the door open, I heard her angelic voice. I closed my eyes for a couple second trying to recompose myself because I could feel my adrenaline rising. I really wanted to ask her a million question when she stepped foot in this room, but then that would lead my mom to ask me a billion questions and I don’t want her all up in this. I love my mom, yes I do but she can get real nosey at times and I hate to say this but she would make things worse.
“Is everyone here?” I heard Monet ask.
“Yeah, EVERYONE.” I heard Anise emphasize on ‘Everyone’ and then Monet let out a loud sigh. I looked over at Ty and he mouthed ‘You cool?’, and I nodded.
Anise and Monet walked into the room quietly, I looked at Monet and she looked beautiful. She was wearing one of those half tank tops, with some ripped jean shorts, a black blazer, black heels, and her hair was still curly. She was looking so fine.
“Hey guys?” Monet smiled wide showing her pearly whites and then she walked further into the living with Sophia on her hip. Anise went back to the spot that was next to Ty on the L shaped couch.
Monet let Sophia down, and Sophia immediately ran over to me. She reached her hands out with a sad face. I picked her up and sat her on my lap. She wrapped her little arms around my neck and placed her cheek on my chest.
“I missed you yellow.” she mumbled, with her eyes shut.
“I missed you too.” She opened her eyes and looked up at me, and then looked down at my mom.
“Hey Mama.” Sophia said softly.
“Hi sweetheart.” Mama kissed her on the forehead, and Sophia giggled. I looked up and Monet was still standing by the door looking at me, while she bit the inside of her bottom lip.
“Honey you can sit down.” Bow’s mom said patting the seat next to her. Monet took her eyes off me, dropping her glance to the ground while she slowly walked her way to the love seat where Bow’s mom sat.
“So, where have you been?” Janise asked instantly, squinting her eyes at Monet.
“None of your business.” Monet spat.
“You’re a runaway bitch!” Janise spat back hopping up from her seat and Monet did the same. Bow was trying to make Janise sit back down by her leg but she wouldn’t budge.
“You need to stay out of my business! This shit has nothing to do with you so why you bugging!?!” Monet yelled, while she stepped a couple steps towards Janise. They both had rage in their eyes.
“Okay ladies, chill out.” Mama Stevenson said
“Imma take Sophia upstairs.” I got up with Sophia in my arms, and I walked towards the staircase. I jogged up them and made my way down the long hall way. I pushed the door open to the guest room, and laid Sophia down on the bed.
“Is sissy gonna be okay?” She asked while she got comfortable under the covers.
“Yeah, we’re gonna make sure she is. Okay?” I smiled, and she nodded.
“I love you yellow..” She mumbled while she slowly drifted to sleep.
“I love you too baby girl.” I bent down and kissed her on the cheek.
I made my way out of the room, and then all I could hear was arguing. I quickly jogged my way down the stairs to witness Janise and Monet face to face. They both were fiery red.
“Monet, you need to learn how to face your fucking problems! You piss me off with this insecure shit! You need to let go of the past!”
“So it’s my fault my life was screwed up Janise? Huh? You know everything, and it amazes me that you don’t get it! My life is fucked up!” Monet screamed in her face. “I didn’t plan on raising my sister on my own! I didn’t plan on having to go to my parent’s graveyards! I didn’t plan on this shit Janise! It’s not fucking easy! I wake up every morning thinking about how my life would have went if all that shit didn’t happen! Yeah I’m fucking insecure and you know why! So don’t come up to me with this bullshit! It’s not easy to let go of the past! You wouldn’t understand because you don’t have that much shit in your past! I used to get fucking abused and my baby sister had to witness that shit! I couldn’t even get away without being scared for both of our lives! So sorry if I can’t let go of the fucking past Janise, and since you’re tired of my problems. Imma just leave with my problems! I love you Janise, but you just don’t understand. No one does.” She yelled, and grabbed her purse off the couch. She ran passed me, stopping in front of the staircase.
“Monet..” I walked towards her and tried to grab her arm but she wouldn’t let me.
“leave me the fuck alone!” She cried while she ran up the stairs.
“Baby..” I chased her and finally got a grip on her arm.
“Chris I’m so fucked up. J-just leave me, you deserve better. I’m a mess” She looked up at me with glossy eyes, and mascara dripping down her face.
“I told you that I’m here to stay. I mean that shit Monet, don’t doubt me.” I grabbed her face with both of my hands and wiped away her tears with my thumbs. She bit down on her bottom lip and closed her eyes, next thing I know she started breaking down. Tears were coming down her face quick.
“I’m so sorry…I’m sorry” Her body trembled.
“Shhh…”I pulled her into me and wrapped my arms around her.
“I shouldn’t have left..” She muttered.
“Babe, we can talk about this later.” I rubbed her back while we rocked back and forth in each other’s arms.
“Chris, I need to leave!” Mama yelled up the stairs. Monet brought her head up.
“What you doing today?” I asked. She licked her lips and then turned her head for a quick second
“I have a shoot today and I need to take Sophia to school.” I nodded and then let go of her. I put my hands in my pockets then looked down at my shoes.
“CHRISTOPHER COME ON!!!” Mama yelled again.
“Ma I’m coming, hold on!” I shouted back.
“Bye Chris.” She turned on her heels, she was about to walk down the hall until I grabbed her pulling her back by her arm. She crashed into my chest, I bent down and kissed her deeply. I missed her soft lips and the way our mouths moved together. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and our tongues started to wrestle with each other. I could hear my mom cussing me out, but right now I was just so into this. I sucked on Monet’s bottom lip and then pecked her lips one more time before pulling away. I rested my forehead on hers.
“I love you baby, and I’m not gonna leave you. I promise.”She nodded and the nibbled down on her bottom lip.
“I love you too.” She mumbled after letting her bottom lip pop back in place, I pecked her lips one more time and then ran down the stairs.
“Boy, I’m about to whoop yo ass with a switch.” Mama said with her arms crossed to her chest.
“Mom, just go out to the car.” I chuckled a little. She started walking out the door while she mumbled things under her breath. I got into my Range Rover and turned on the car, waiting for her to come on. When she finally did get in the car she was talking a whole bunch of mess still.
“Chill please..” I laughed and turned up my music, I looked back and started backing out.
“Wait!” Mama yelled. I quickly pressed my foot on the brakes and turned to look at her crazy. Monet came to mama’s side of the car and knocked lightly on the window. Her face was still red and her massacre was still messed up, but at least she had a smile on her face.
Mama rolled down the window and Monet pulled up her shirt a little trying to cover her cleavage that she was showing.
“Bye Mama.” Monet said sweetly poking her head into the car, they gave each other cheek kisses.
“You okay baby?” Mama asked out of concern, Monet looked over at me and nodded. I licked my lips and looked out the front window with a cheesy ass smile on my face.
“Okay, take care honey.” They hugged each other and then Monet stepped away from the car. While we drove out the driveway Monet was waving goodbye.
When they drove away, I jogged back into the house and rushed up the stairs. When I walked into the guest room that Sophia was in, Janise was sitting Indian style on the bed starring at the door. I didn’t have time to hear her bitching about how I live my life. I know I need to change some of my ways, and I’m truly trying. I don’t need her to make me feel even more worst about myself.
“Man Janise I don’t have time for this.” I murmured while I picked Sophia up from off the bed laying her head on my shoulder.
“I just wanted to say sorry…” She said below a whisper and then she looked down at her lap
“Janise we can talk about this later but right now I really have to go..” She nodded and then I walked fast out of the house without saying goodbye to anyone. If I’m not on time for this wedding photo-shoot they’re gonna take money out of my check and I don’t need that. I quickly buckled Sophia in her booster seat and then hoped in the front seat. As soon as I turned my car on my phone started to ring, I pulled out the drive way before answering the call. When I was about to answer it, it stopped ringing.
A couple minutes later it started ringing again and I pushed the button on my steering wheel. Chris’s voice came booming out of my speakers.
“Babe, what you doing after your photo-shoot?”
“Umm nothing, Sophia is going over Ashley’s. I need to get my stuff from my friend’s house.” I lied.
“What friend?” He asked, being noisy.
“Don’t worry about, but what did you have in mind?”
“Just come over my house when you’re done.”
“You don’t have to work today?”
“Naw, not until tomorrow.”
“You have to work on Saturday.” I asked with a sad tone
“Yeah, and I have to work late too.”
“Man, that fucking sucks.”
“Right, but umm I need to go we’re at the airport.”
“Mkay…” I mumbled as I turned into the elementary parking lot.
“I really do love you Monet..” He said sincerely.
“I love you too, Chris.” I said as I started fixing my makeup in the rear view mirror.
“Bye baby.” He said sweetly.
“Bye babe.” We both hung up at the same time and then I picked up my purse from the passenger seat. I got out the car and opened the back door. I unbuckled Sophia from her car seat and then placed her on my hip.
“Sophia you have to wake up..” I pushed a few stray hairs away from her face and started walking towards the school.
I stepped in the building with a Mocha Frappe in my hand, this time when I walked in people weren’t rushing me to the dressing room. I made my way to the back of the building and that’s where everyone was, including Karson.
Wait, What? Karson?
“Finally!” Kelly hopped out off the couch and came over to link her arm with mine. I didn’t even pay an inch of attention to her. My eyes were stuck on Karson, I felt like I couldn’t control them. They wouldn’t move off him. He was staring back at me with a little smirk on his face.
“So let’s get you dressed.” Kelly said as she walked me to the dressing room.
“Kelly, why is Karson here?” I sat down in the chair that I was assigned.
“He’s apart of your crew.” I turned around in my chair and looked at her confused.
“What? My crew?” I looked around and noticed that all the people that were around me were the same people that were at the other Photo-shoot.
“Yep, Karson doesn’t have anything to do with this one but he still insisted to come.” She smiled and gripped on to my shoulders.
“You told him he wasn’t needed right?”
“Yes, I told him he could go home but he said he needed to talk to you.” She winked at me in the mirror with a grin.
“I have a boyfriend, Kelly.” I assured her
“Boyfriend number two.” She sang and walked out the room gracefully.
She has me all wrong, I’m not that type of girl. I stick with one guy and that’s it. Karson and I can be friends but something more than that? Naw I don’t think so. Chris is my everything at the moment, and no one is gonna come between that.
“It’s nice to see you again Ms. Johnson.” My hairstylist said as she started on my hair.
“Just call me Monet.” I smiled and took my phone out of my purse. I unlocked my screen and I had 3 unread messages.
Moms and I are out if you need to get into the house the spare key is under the smallest rock in her garden.
I replied an quick ‘Okay.’, I would text him about me moving back out but I’ll leave that alone until I get out this photo shoot.
From: Right Hand (Anise)
Baby, you know we love you. Janise is just a little crabby. Who knows why but she is. Call me when you get the chance.
I didn’t reply to her text message I just went to the next.
From: My Main Bitch (Shakira)
Main call me when you get this, I got some shit to tell you.
I already knew what this call was gonna be about, but this time around I’m not gonna let it get to me because Chris already told me that he was here to stay. No worries. I put my phone back in my purse and looked up in the mirror; my hair stylist was already half way done.
When everything was done, I truly looked beautiful not to toot my horn or anything but I was looking fine. I was wearing a Vera Wang ivory wedding dress, and some ivory open toe heels. I had golden glittery eye shadow on with a little blush, eye liner and a thick coat of mascara on. When I walked on set the photographer put two thumbs up making a smile appear on my face.
“Okay beautiful, are you ready?” He asked as he put his eye to the camera.
“Yep..” I went over to the stool and struck a pose quick. That’s when shot after shot after shot was taken.
“You looked very gorgeous.” I turned away from the snack table with a California roll stuffed in my mouth. When I saw who it was I chewed on the roll slowly, and then let it slide down my throat smoothly.
“Thank you.” I smiled a little and then looked around the room. No one was near. Just Karson and I
“You never called me.” He said and stepped closer to me with his hands in his pockets.
“I was kind of busy.” I picked up my cup of coffee off the table and took a sip out of it.
“Well, would you like to go out for lunch today?”
“I can’t, I’m busy.” He walked closer and rested his back on the tall snack table.
“Damn, you’re one busy girl.” He chuckled.
“Yeah, My Boyfriend has me up and moving.” I took another sip of my coffee and looked at him in the corner of my eye.
“How long have you guys been dating.” He took his hands out of his pocket and turned his snapback to the side.
“Why does it matter?” I squinted my eyes and then threw my cup away in the trash can that was next to the table.
“I was just wondering.” He shrugged.
“Well stop wondering. I like to keep my private life, private.” I left him there with his mouth wide open. I went back to the crew and said my goodbyes. When I was about to walk out the building Karson came out of the Snack room, and he bit down on his bottom lip. I rolled my eyes and pushed my purse farther up my shoulder.
When I got in my car, I instantly called Kira back.
“Hey Main!” Shakira screamed
“Hey baby! Whats up?” I put my key in its slot and turned my car on.
“She’s coming down there.” I backed out the parking lot with the phone inbetween my ear and my shoulder.
“Who?” I furrowed my eyebrows.
“You’re not upset?” Shakira asked surprised
“Naw, she bringing Chris’s son?”
“Yeah, and Alivia loose pussy ass coming down there too.” I let out a sigh, I really don’t like that bitch.
“She better stay away from me. But what’s the babys’ name?”
“Anthony. They call him Ant for short. Man, that little nigga look just like chris.” Shakira chuckled, and I smiled a little. “Naw but foreal Mo, Rachel cool peeps don’t just start shit with her for nothing.”
“Kira, why would I do that?” I questioned
“Mo, come on now.”
“Naw if I’m gonna fuck with you, it’s gonna be for a reason.”
“Alright foreal though ya’ll might become tight. Never know.”
“Right, you never know.” I pulled into Chris’s drive way and parked behind his Range. I turned off my car and slumped down in my seat.
“What you doing.” She asked, and then I heard a whole bunch of commotion in the background.
“I’m at Chris’s.”
“Oh ya’ll cool now? I knew it!” I chuckled a little and she did the same. “Aye but I’m a let you go, Mijo want me to join him in the shower.”
“Eww! Freaks!” I laughed out.
“Shutup you can’t be talking! Janise recorded ya’ll sex noises the other night homie and she sent it to everyone in the crew!” Shakira started cracking up, my mouth flew wide open.
“Youre fucking lying!” I laughed
“Naw, she sent em last night.”
“I swear imma get her.”
“Bitch don’t hurt Jay, imma come down there and chop Chris’s dick off, bitch then you gonna be down in the dirt. You probably gonna have a panic attack, you gonna be like ‘OMG NO MO DICK FO ME! WHAT ME GON DO!’” She said the last part in a Chinese accent. I rolled my eyes and hopped out the car.
“I’m about to tell Chris what you said.” I walked up his porch and opened the door with the key he gave me.
“Go ahead! I’m not scared of Big Bird.”
“Babe!” I yelled and my voice echoed through out the house.
“In here.” He replied back, I followed his voice which led me into the dining room. This nigga was in here eating 3 hamburgers.
“Kira said she gonna chop yo dick off.” I poked my bottom lip out.
“Aww hell to the naw, I gotta make love to my baby. Kira fall back son, before I call Mijo and tell him to shut yo ass up. Shove that dick down yo throat.” Chris shouted, and my mouth flew open because I already knew Kira was about to go off.
“YOU BIG ASS NIGGA! I WILL PUT MY FOOT SO FAR UP YO ASS, DON’T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE AND BEAT YO SISQO LOOKING ASS!” Kira yelled through the phone, Chris just chuckled and got up from the table. He kissed me on the cheek and made his way into the kitchen.
“Shakira imma call you later babe.” I said.
“TELL YO MAN-“ I hung up on her before she could say anything else.
“Christopher, Where are we going.” I set my purse on the dining room table. I walked into the kitchen and made my way to the fridge. I took out a Gatorade and then hopped up on the counter next to the fridge. Chris washed off his plate and then walked in between my legs.
“It’s a surprise.” He smiled and then pecked me on the lips.
“Liv I never liked Chris like that. I just fucked him that night because I was drunk.” I lied
“Are you sure?” She asked as we helped each other pack our bags.
“I’m positive.” I lied once again.
I’ve lied about a million times to many people
They would always ask……So, How do you feel about Chris?
I would just tell them that ‘I didn’t give two fucks about that nigga.’
But the truth is I do…….
I’ve liked Chris since 6th grade when I moved to Tappahannock, Virginia. We had from Miami for family purposes, I was so upset that we had to move there because I heard it was a bum fuck town. But, everything changed when I walked into my first class on the first day.
I walked into the class room and showed the teacher my schedule. She looked at my schedule for a little while scanning. For what reason? I don’t know. My name is clearly on top of the damn paper, and her class is the first one.
“Well Rachel, you can seat right next to Christopher.” She pointed towards the back of the room where a group of boys were close together.
“Man, lady I told you to call me Chris!” He spat.
“Hush boy!” she pointed her wrinkled brown finger at him and he rolled his eyes. I chuckled a little in the inside and made my way to the back of the room. I sat next to him and set my backpack next my seat. I pulled out my English notebook and my pen.
“What’s your name again?”
I sat up and looked beside me. Chris was looking at me from head to toe, while he licked his lips. This boy was gorgeous, he was more than gorgeous. I couldn’t even explain how fine this boy was. The freckles that were splattered all over his face, the nice full pink lips, and the brown eyes. They weren’t just ordinary brown eyes they had a little twinkle.
“Ummm, Rachel.” I blushed and then turned my head trying not to let him see me pink in the face.
“I’m Chris.” I turned back around and nodded.
“Nice to meet you.”
“You too beautiful.” He winked and then bit down on his bottom lip.
That’s exactly when I fell in love with him. I will never forget that day.
Chris was nice throughout Middle school, but when we got to High school everything changed. He became the star basketball player, and I even became the head cheerleader just for him to ask me out or something. But, he never did. We fucked every once and a while, but he would always forget my name. That shit pissed me off.
When Alivia told me yesterday that he has a girlfriend, I think my heart broke into pieces. Why couldn’t he ask me out back in high school? Why didn’t we ever date? Why wasn’t I his girlfriend, When I showed him my all? What was so special about her?
People wonder why I don’t want ant to meet his dad. It’s because I don’t want to face Chris again, I don’t want Chris to break my sons heart like he broke mine.